Today I will share with you WHAT brought out those feelings.....
It's Saturday morning and we are getting ready to leave.....getting ready to spend next 5 days at our trailer parked at a campground resort in the US.....45 minute drive (and 30-50 minute wait at the border) from our home.
It's only Hormone Boy, Little Peanut and myself.....Average Joe is away for the summer.
Being a little bit of a control freak I pack everything myself....except......
I let Hormone Boy pack all his diabetic supplies he will need for next 7 days (I always make sure he brings 2 day reserve in case of emergency).
As usual I make sure he has EVERYTHING.....I ask him 3 times to repeat to me what's in his diabetes kit and I make sure the diabetes kit makes it from his room to my car.....
Simple......right?
Sunday night.....HB was not feeling himself....he was tired.....decided to go to bed early.....
Few minutes after midnight......he started throwing up.....I mean Hollywood Special Effects throwing up.....
At this point I knew my sleep was over and I will have to check his blood glucose every couple hours to make sure he won't go unconscious.
By Monday morning we were both exhausted....HB was crying and in pain.....I kept giving him drinks.....checking his BG....emptying his bucket.
Around noon he tells me he's feeling better and he can start checking his own BG.....he is looking little better...ate few crackers....seem to be keeping his liquids in.....I agreed.......
Over the next few hours HB instead of getting better was getting worse and worse.....he could hardly walk.....he couldn't talk.....he looked intoxicated.....he kept drinking and drinking gallons and gallons of water and begging for more......
I was so exhausted from taking care of him....his brother....his dog that I kept missing the CLUES......the SIGNS....
I kept telling him to check his BG every two hours and I kept asking him what it was.....he kept throwing random numbers at me.....all acceptable.....
That's when it happened......around 5 o'clock HB stumbled into my bedroom, fell on my bed and with extreme difficulties slurred out....."I need to tell you something"......
"I didn't have any insulin for 6 or 7 hours because my pump ran out and I forgot new insulin reservoirs at home. I didn't want to tell you. I was hoping if I don't eat anything I can make it without insulin till we go home on Wednesday."
"Please, mommy help me.....I think I am dying......my meter stopped registering my high blood glucose hours ago....."
Here I was......alone.....away from home.....in another country.....putting him in my car in his condition was out of the question.......
My baby was hurting.....my baby was hurting himself....all I could do was watch......and.....
.......Frantic phone call to my best friend trying to locate our spare key....luckily she left it at her house.....
......Another phone call to my sister....picking up our spare key.....driving to my house (20 minutes from her house) locating HB's diabetic supplies......driving across the border with his supplies hoping not to get stopped and questioned too much......
......3 hours later HB had his insulin pump refilled and back on.....at this point he was slipping into a coma.....just got him his insulin in time.....
After that I was on 12 hour watch to make sure he keeps getting better and his blood glucose is stabilizing.....
Tuesday morning.....HB woke up in pain.....his whole body was hurting.....
All I wanted was to hold him and hug him and tell him it will be OK......mom will take care of it.....
......I couldn't.....NOT THIS TIME......I had to tell him that as much as it hurts me I have to let him suffer
Was this his wake up call? I hope so.....for his sake.
I did get to hold him.....hug him and cry with him Tuesday night.....after an emotional talk and promise that this was his WAKE UP call!
It's been a long time since I participated in Pour Your Heart Out over at Things I Can't Say......If there ever was be a perfect time to re-join it would be now....so here it goes.
