Friday, July 30, 2010

Aqua Man and the Bug Zapper

Another week of summer is gone.

Yes, we are still camping and Mr.Misery is still waiting for his knee operation.

Last two days we spend at home doing laundry, gardening and taking care of the bills.

I hate bills. We all hate them, but they keep coming and coming. I think there should be a law that allow us to pay our bills only twice a year.

Anyway, back to my original though…..wait I lost it….no, it’s back. We are all good to go.

While we were at home Mr. Misery took me for a Chinese food in a new restaurant that opened up in town next to us.

I was hesitant because I am one of those people that not many restaurants can satisfy. When I find a restaurant I like I will go there for the rest of my life and probably have the same meal over and over again.

On the other hand when I am traveling and on vacation I will try anything.

Yes, I am weird. I know it. My family and friends know it and now the world knows it.

We entered this Lotus Flower (or something like that) Chinese buffet restaurant. It’s 6pm and middle of the summer in resort town full of tourists. There are two other tables with customers.

My brain is screaming: “Get out of here. Can’t you read the failure signs?”

I am trying to shut my brain up. Mr.Misery really wants Chinese food and he wants it here. Living with me he usually doesn’t get to pick eating establishments that often. I need to give him this one.

“Abort the mission…..abort the mission” my brain is screaming.

“Table for two?” little Chinese lady with heavy accent asks.

“Yes, please” too late to back out now.

After taking a closer look the place was clean and the buffet was well stocked and had a pretty good selection. Maybe it’s to hot and people will come later…..let’s dig in.

I filled my plate with the usual suspects I eat at new Chinese restaurant…..stir fried veggies, fried rice, beef & broccoli and some chicken.

I take a first bite. It’s pretty good. Little different, but tasty.

I look up then look down and there he is. The Aqua-waiter. I nearly choked on my chicken.

Our waiter is wearing these weird looking aqua shoes with toes. He looked like some water creature. Put on him some scuba gear and he's ready to take the plunge.



While trying not to stare at his freaky feet I looked up in the buffet direction.

Is it? No, it can't be. Oh, yes it is and it's plugged in as well.

On top of the buffet was sitting big electric bug zapper.

With a horror I pointed it out to Mr.Misery.

His reaction: "You don't see any flies around the food, do you?"

At this point I am ready to run. I am trying to finish the little bit of food left in my plate

Then I made the mistake to look around again. What a mistake!

The old Chinese guy (the owner) just grabbed his wife's ass (I hope it was his wife) three times as she walked by him and I was a witness to it. My retinas are burning, my stomach is turning and it's definitely time to leave this fine establishment and never come back.

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Today I am joining the Friendly Friday celebration hosted by Xenia at Thanks, Mail Carrier, Christi at Frugal Novice and Charla at Healthy Home Blog!





Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Row, Row, Row Your Boat - WW

Last week while camping with my girlfriend our kids talked us into renting them a paddle boat.

I was always little scared and skeptical of paddle boats.

Everybody assured me that it will be fine and there is nothing to worry about.

Unfortunately, they were WRONG!!!




First the kids go....looks easy....nothing to worry about




Then the moms get on....we're doing it....look at us go.




OMG, we're going under....paddle faster...the boat is filling up....pull us in!!!




Hormone Boy, STOP laughing at your mother!


Btw, we went under because Hormone Boy sabotaged the boat before we took off. Nice kid, isn't he? He'll do anything to laugh at his mother.


This week for Wordless Wednesday I am joining A Lot Of Loves, Marvelous Mommy and 5 Minutes For Mom



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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Do You Think I'm Stupid.....Boy?

It's 5am. The air in the trailer is finally cooler. Everything in the resort is tranquil and quiet.

I am dreaming about the hot and sexy Mr. Matthew McHeyHey (girl can only dream).


Courtesy of Google Images

(How sexy is that? Sorry ladies, no frontal nudity today)


We are riding horses on a white sandy beach when suddenly.......VROOOOM, VROOOM, VROOOM...Matthew is fading away....DON'T GO, NOT YET.....I jump out of my bed....VROOOOM, VROOOM, VROOOM.

The exhaust smoke fills up the trailer. Sounds like I should be grabbing my children and running for cover. Another VROOOOOM.

I look outside my window and there they are. 2 men wanna-be's in late teens or early 20's trying to park their old Honda Civic right under my windowS at 5am while trying to impress imaginary girls.


Courtesy of Google Images


Let me tell you, these two were not skimping on the effects of their bitchin' ride.

I keep watching them as they finally park and walk towards their parents campsite which is located 8-9 spots away from us.

Why did they park under my windows you ask?

I imagine they didn't want to wake up their family.

Finally, everything is calm and quiet again. Kids are back in their beds and I am trying to rekindle my platonic relationship with McHeyHey (he didn't come back).

6:23.....BANG....SLAM.....BANG......CRUSH.....HAHAHAHAHA

I look outside and the two members of Bitchin' Honda Village (I divide campers into villages and then I name them) are back with a vengence.

Why you ask?

Well, pick up their belongings, of course!!!

Let's just safely assume that I no longer had the desire to return to my bed. I was out for blood.

8:20am I hear my sister coming out of her tent. I decided to release little bit of my anger and talk it out with her.

Suddenly, who do I see walking down the road towards our trailer?

The two undesirable members of Bitchin' Honda Village.

They are walking and laughing not knowing what's ahead.....one pissed of mother.

The rest went something like this:

"Hey, you two....5am....seriously.....what the hell is wrong with you? Was it neccessary to rev up your car 7 times while you were parking? Are you out of your freaking mind?"

Looking at each other like they don't know what I am talking about.....

"Us?"

"Yes, you two. Unless you haven't arrived in that car this morning then I am talking to you!"

Them looking for proper answer....

"Well,well, well.... that's the time we got here"

"That's fine, but you could have come without anybody knowing."

"Well,well,well....that's how loud the car is."

"Do you think I'm STUPID? I will be bringing my kids over to your site today, just so you know."

Later that day the father of the Bitchin' Honda Village was reparking the car in question beside our trailer and guess what?

I did not here it at all. How interesting.....

Ever since then (Saturday) all the members from Bitchin' Honda Village give me the "what a freak looks" everytime they walk by our site or everytime I walk by their site.

You tell me....did I overreact?

The worst part is that the Bitchin' Honda Village is from our home province of Beautiful British Columbia.





Sunday, July 25, 2010

My Story - Chapter 1

I don't know how many of you know that I was born in Slovakia (former Czechoslovakia) and I came to Canada in my late teens as a political refugee.

Many of my friends and few of my family members have been telling me for years to write a book about my life and all the diversity I faced and overcame since then.

Well, since I have been blogging for almost a year I decided that it's time.You never know who might be reading it and maybe, just maybe my story will get published one day.

I always was a dreamer and overachiever so why not.

I decided to write a chapter every week and post it on my blog every Monday.

I will have a page dedicated to my book and you can catch up on new chapters anytime you like.

So here goes....nothing.....my first chapter (still deciding on the title).


Chapter 1


June 1988

Life can’t get any better for this young Slovak girl.

I turned 19 few days ago. Only year ago I graduated from Hotel Academy and have been working for my parents ever since.... till 4 months ago.

Last 4 months I have been on my own and working as an assistant general manager of a Ski Chalet.

Yes, it is a job I got thanks to my dad and his connections.

It also is a job where I have to prove myself and show everyone that I can do it.

I love my job. I love my boss and I am ready to start a new relationship with local hunky fireman.

In a few days I will go home to visit my family. It’s only 1 hour drive, but that’s far enough that I don’t have to worry about them popping in and surprising me.

Mom called yesterday and there is something important she needs to discuss with me. I hate suspense especially since I have no idea what it could be.

Lately I’ve been worried about my father.

Last few year as a general manager for a major hotel is putting his health at risk.

In his prime my father was an exceptional athlete and a professional goalie. His very promising hockey career ended when I was a toddler due to an injury.

Few years later after finishing his business degree my father had to join the Communist Party in order to become a general manager of a hotel. At that time everything in Czechoslovakia was run by the government therefore run by the communists. If you wanted a good job you had to become one of them.

Unless you were a rebel like my mother. Till this day we laugh about her being rejected by the local communist party. My mother never had a problem to tell anyone what she thinks.

My father is a great businessman and with the help of my mother - the born accountant he climbed the ladder of the hotel game very quickly. In few years he went from managing little Ski Chalet to 5 star hotel in a Ski Resort

Of course with bigger hotel came bigger obligations. Obligations of wining and dining various communist party leaders and their lackies and mistresses. They show up at the best resorts and hotels any time of the day unannounced and ready to have a good time. The bill is always paid by the hotel and the general manager has to be present and participate from the minute they arrive till the minute they leave.

In last few years my father became very obese borderline alcoholic. He is not able to tie his own shoelaces on his custom made Italian shoes and his custom made suits are getting tighter and tighter. He would show up at home at any hour and most of the time under the influence of expensive alcohol. He would get phone calls from work in the middle of the night and he is required to be there and ready to party within 30 minutes.

So when I received a phone call from my mom asking me to come home for a talk I was worried that is has something to do with my father.

Turns out it had everything to do with my father, but not the way I thought.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Day Mother Nature Had My Back

Sometimes Mother Nature can be a cruel mistress, but last week she had my back.

It's been beautiful and hot weather during our camping trip except that one day....last Tuesday.

Out of nowhere clouds rolled in, sun disappeared and huge windstorm blew in.

It was awful. I was thanking my lucky stars that we were in a trailer. Towels, tubes and lawn chairs were blowing everywhere. The windstorm lasted into the wee morning hours.

The next morning sun came out and there was no sign of the wind.

My boys decided to go for their usual bike ride around the campground to check out the damage.

They returned without their bikes, but not empty handed.

Very carefully on a bed of leaves and branches they were carrying two baby birds.

The baby birds used to live in nest inside a tall tree, but the wind knocked down the nest in the middle of the night.

Their (what they thought) mother and one sibling were dead on the road and the little birds were on the side of the road waiting to be run over.

Of course my nature loving children knew about touching birds with their bare hands and with a help of some lady they managed to get the birdies onto some leaves and branches and bring them home to me.

Right away I knew that this will not end well and there will be lots of tears involved.

I my head I was not very nice to Mother Nature.

I knew that I had to give my boys a chance to try to save the birds.



We found a box. Filled it with grass and put the baby birds away from harm.

Hormone Boy went to the tackle shop to buy some night crawlers. It was so gross to watch, but my 13 year old was slicing those worms and mashing them like a pro. He was feeding the little birds with my tweezers (I need knew ones). They were eating like crazy.



I saw the look on my son's face and I was so PROUD of him.

Then the boys realized that the birds need some water. So I suggested to put drops of water into their beaks with a drinking straw.



This was going on for hours and hours. They totally took over for mama bird and were determined to help the babies to survive.

The evening came and I knew this can't last forever and there is a good change that when the boys wake up in the morning the babies will be dead.

We try to explain to them that they did what they could, but now they need to let Mother Nature to take over.

Hormone Boy spent hours on the internet trying to find a Wildlife Rescue, but no luck.

We managed to talk the boys into taking the birds to their tree, hide them well and hope for the best.

They came back crying their hearts out and yes, I joined them. How could I not?

In the morning I asked the boys not to go and check on the birds as I was afraid of them finding one or two dead babies.

Then Mother Nature provided me with a miracle........she got my back.

The birds were gone from their hiding place and there was a new nest in the tree. The babies were looking at my boys from their new home as their mom was flying around and feeding them.

We realized that the killed bird must have been the dad sitting in the nest while mom was out looking for food.

Mom came back looking for her babies and she found them safe and well thanks to my two wonderful boys.

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504 Main


This Friday I am joining Holly @ 504 Main for Tickled Pink because I was Tickled Pink when I watched my boys care for those helpless baby birds.



Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Sticky Summer S'mores - WW

Big part of camping and summer are S'MORES.

My kids are S'mores lovers, but they enjoy making them more then eating them.

I guess that's good in a way.....who needs all those calories.

Recently I discovered Toasted Coconut Covered Marshmallows in SuperWalmart. Of course we had to try making S'mores with them. All I can say is....YUMMY.







This week for Wordless Wednesday I am joining Marilyn @ A Lot Of Loves, Amy @ Marvelous Mommy and 5 Minutes For Mom




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Monday, July 19, 2010

I've Seen The Village...

I am back....well, sort of.

Our camping trip was a big success. I learned a lot, I laughed a lot, I ate a lot and of course I had few drinks as well.

10 days at the campground with lots of strangers gave me so much blogging material that I can keep you entertained for months to come....I am not kidding.

All I had to do is to lay in my hammock and quietly observe my neighbors.

You all know the saying: "It takes a village to raise a child".

Well, I observed the village and I think I will raise my children on my own, thank you very much (or start my own village).

I had the pleasure to see and observe children raised by their village and I am here to tell you that this particular VILLAGE let them down (most of them).

The first 5 days of our camping trip we were sharing the campground with large group participating in their family reunion.

I lost count of how many children they had between them, but the number was big and the noise and chaos was even bigger.

I personally took it as a learning opportunity for my children to show them how NOT to behave and explaining to them HOW they would be punished if I ever caught them behaving like that.

Sometimes you don't need books to learn. Just sit back, relax and observe.




Anyway, our CAMPING trip is not over yet.

Since Mr.Misery is not allowed to work and is still waiting to see knee specialist and probably will be going for surgery in next 2 months we decided to leave our trailer at the resort for the summer. This decision came after discovering that the resort offers free Internet.

It is only 45 minutes from our house so we will be going home for couple nights here and there to check on things, do laundry and go for necessary appointments.

For rest of the summer I will be blogging from my hammock with Daiquiri in my hand while observing my fellow campers.

So now, I need to go finish my laundry, weed my garden and drive back to the USA to make myself Daiquiri and try to get some good stories to entertain you all.


Before I go I would like to announce the winner for my $30 CSN Stores Gift Certificate.


The winner is comment #10 - Domestic Diva - CONGRATULATION!


True Random Number Generator
10

See You All Tomorrow....

Friday, July 9, 2010

Vacation Time - Be Back Soon



In few hours I am leaving for 10 day camping trip with my family and friends.

I will miss you all, but I am sure I will brings back lots of material for new and interesting posts.


See you in 10 Days!











Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Release Random Rant

Summer is in a full swing. The kids are running wild and the heat outside is not helping.

I've been trying to write for last 3 days, but somehow other things needed to be done.

We are leaving for 8 day camping trip Saturday morning so I need to get everything organized.

This full time motherhood is sure cutting into my blogging time.

I have to cut my blogging time in half during the summer, never mind the time I am losing by sleeping in. When I divide it between my 3 blogs there is NO TIME!!!

During the summer I might not post as much and comment as much, but I am reading and visiting all of you.

Anyway,......July 1st Harmonized Sales Tax known as HST came into effect in my province of British Columbia. It's a sore subject around here.

I don't usually get involved in politics and it's been proven that once the tax is here it will never disappear. They promise you it will, but as we all know politicians LIE!!!

It does bother me that we have to pay more tax and I will look for ways how to avoid it thank you Washington state, but that's life and we need to move on. Life's too short to waste it on things we can't control or avoid.

We need to move on and find ways to take care of our families the best we can.

As much as it saddens me I must admit that from now if I want to treat my family with dinner out it would be in Washington State (20 minute drive) since I am not willing nor can't afford to pay 12% tax on overpriced meals and leave 15% tip on top of it.

I will take few weekend trips over the year to USA so I can buy clothing and other according to our government not necessities for my son who's only 13, but wears men sizes therefore is not longer tax exempt under the new HST (unless I jump through the hoops).

I also know that I won't be the only person doing this. So how does Gordon Campbell and his gnomies figure that this will help our economy?

I live in a small town where almost everything is overpriced and I just can't afford to support my local economy.



Let me introduce you to British Columbia's main man - premier Gordon Campbell. In my opinion Gordon is full of chicken crap talks and promises. Hardly delivers on any of them yet he gets re-elected.

Courtesy Of Google Images


Come on people? What is it about Gordon that you like?

Maybe you think he's COOL because he drives drunk.

Maybe you share his passion for cutting school funds, health funds, support and proper care for disabled and autistic children and other non important funds that we kind of have a right to since almost half of our income goes to pay taxes.

Tell me one thing.

How guy who is arrested and charged for driving under the influence he did apologize while being the leader of British Columbia gets to keep his job and is re-elected?

If Joe Schmuck a good citizen, family man and provider would get charged with the same offence as Gordon Campbell he would not be able coach his child's minor hockey or soccer. He would not be able to volunteer in his community to work with children.

Gordon Campbell on the other hand is allowed to LEAD a province, be public figure and talk to our youth.

He's also known for his human touch and for tossing a loonie (1 dollar) at a striking ambulance paramedic with words “here, don’t spend it all in one place.” The paramedic answered “thanks a lot, that’s half an hour’s pay for me.” ( BC Ambulance Paramedics get only $2/hr for on-call standby)

On top of it all we suppose to call him HONORABLE!!!

Well, I have a problem with that.










Thursday, July 1, 2010

Move Over Spanx....Here Comes Duct Tape

It all started with an innocent conversation between Little Peanut and his mom (me):

LP: "Mommy, can I have some ice cream?"

Me: " Honey, you already had some not long ago. You really need to cut down on sweets and not so healthy food. Your little six pack (yes, he was born with one) is starting to turn into little jelly like belly. We need to start exercise more and get the six pack back."

LP: "Naaaa, I don't need exercise. I can just suck my belly in like this (sucking his belly in)."

Me: "You can't walk around like that. You won't be able to breathe."

LP: "That's OK, all I need is some DUCK TAPE to hold it in. There is NOTHING duck tape can't fix. You know the guy on TV that fixes everything with it (Red Green Show)? He says: "If women won't find you handsome at least they should find you handy.""

Me: " Long Pause.....laugh......laugh.....laugh some more (there might have been a little tinkle)"



Courtesy of Google Images


The moral of the story?

STOP dieting, STOP depriving yourself. Throw away the gym membership.

Go out and buy yourself some DUCK TAPE before the masses find out about it....move over Spanx.
My plan?

Buy some stocks in duck tape. Buy unlimited quantity of duck tape. Spread the word around the world.

Hey, I am (now slim & trim) blogger mom. I can do that.


Courtesy of Google Images


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