I'm Done Feeling Like a Sell-Out

I've been feeling down last few weeks and I realized that blogging no longer brings me the joy it used to.

When I started blogging in October (7 months ago) I had such a passion for blogging and sharing my life and my thoughts with complete strangers who were willing to listen and lend a helping hand if needed.

Many of these strangers became my friends and loyal supporters of my blogs. They were cheering me on as I was meeting challenges in life and trying to find happiness. They were there to cry with me, to laugh with me and to share their lives with me. I was so exited every morning to turn on my laptop and see all the wonderful comments. I was so excited to go over and read their blogs to return and cultivate the friendships and support I've received.

Over last few months I noticed that many of these wonderful people are no longer. Majority of them quit blogging for many reasons or they decided to go different direction with their blogs.

Many blogs I used to love to read turned into giveaways, reviews and meme blogs. Many bloggers started actual communities and forums.

Now, don't get me wrong I am not judging anyone and I still follow and support as much as I can. Everyone has the right to do what makes them happy. We all need to progress and follow our dreams and goals. I myself do some giveaways, reviews and write few posts here and there to make some extra money, but what makes me sad is that I felt into a trap.

I felt into a trap of wanting to get back my friends and gain some fast followers. I wanted to belong to certain "tribes" so I don't feel like the "unpopular" girl in high school.

I listen to some of my followers advising me to join certain memes and groups to get more comments.

Well, in my search of belonging and in my desire of getting comments I lost myself....I sold out....I stopped being me. I started writing my posts to fit into certain memes and certain blog rolls just to get people to come over. That is not what I wanted to do when I started my blog.

The worst part is that I didn't really gain more friends. I lost few friends and certain people I thought I connected with no longer come by because I am not part of their "tribe" their "group" or their "meme".

I never was one to follow trends. I always was an individual and didn't care where I belonged. I loved everyone and could get along with everybody. So why the sudden urge to be popular and to belong? I don't know.....

All I know is that I need to be me again. I need to write for me and not care if anyone reads it. I need to reconnect with my friends I lost due to me selling out. I need my husband and my best friend read my blog again. I need to write what I feel and when I feel it.

I have a suspicion that this post will cause me to lose even more followers, but such is life and I need to feel good about myself.

I will join memes and blog rolls, but it will be on my terms. I will join certain memes when I have a post appropriate for linking up. I will write for me and not for comments.

I am done feeling like a sell-out.

I am back.....hear me roar.



P.S. I do have a blog where I post in hopes of making it my home business and bring me some money and other perks. There is nothing wrong with that. Just in case you though I am against making money with blogs. Occasionally I will promote certain business and products on my personal blog, but it will because I wanted to.