Blog Party

One Cluttered Brain is hosting her First Blog Party and I agreed to be a part of it. In order to be "the IN crowd" I was suppose to answer these questions.



1. What is your favorite thing to snack on while you're blogging? Fruit (lame I know)

2. What is one thing you wouldn't want to live without? Beside my family - my kitchen

3. Beach, Mountains or Farm? Where would you live if you had a choice? Raised in the mountains, lived on a farm I think it's time for BEACH

4. What's your least favorite chore/household duty? Laundry - don't like to fight with the never ending stains of my kids clothing

5. Prefer parties and socializing or staying at home with the fam? Having party and socialize at home involving my family

6.Favorite movie? Anything with Sandra Bullock

7. Do you sleep in your make up or remove it like a good girl every night? Don't wear much make-up, but I remove it when I do.

8. Where is your favorite place to shop? Winners and Ralph Lauren

9. What's one thing you'd do more often if you had more time? Scrapbook and read

10. Are you a big spender or frugal? Used to be a big spender, became very frugal - still trying to get a grip on reality

So here you go.

What's next?

Bitten By The Baking Bug - Not Once, Not Twice...

Yesterday wasn't the best day.....it was exactly a year ago since Mr. Misery lost his job.

I've been doing my Misery to Happiness challenge for one month now and I learned that self pity, hate and depression won't get you anything.

So I told Mr. Misery that he can look at it 2 ways:

1. One year of misery, unemployment and sadness

or

2. One year anniversary of new beginning and new experiences.

After little talk down the memory lane he picked the second one.

It was such a miserable and ugly day yesterday that depression and self pity were the perfect companion. I locked my front door and didn't let them in.

Instead I was busy making cookies, cupcakes and even a birthday cake (my best friend's hubby was born on Halloween - and yes, he is properly twisted, but we love him anyway).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WEIRDO....LOVE YOU....

We live outside the town so we don't get any kids trick-or-treating. Every year I make little packages of candy and cookies for the 7 children in my life.

This year I decided to bring it up a notch and I made them Halloween Cookie arrangements. They turned out pretty well.

I also made some Worms'n'Dirt Cupcakes for my son's class. Mr. Misery loved these cupcakes. Apparently they were the best I ever made. Since it's Fall I decided to get away from typical white cupcake and I made Spice Cake Cupcakes with not overly sweet Cream Cheese Frosting and I dipped them in crushed Oreo Cookies.

Since my kitchen was destroyed anyway I decided to make more cookies. I baked some Fall/Harvest Cookies. These beauties were for my mom and my best friend. I did tell them I need the containers back thou...for future use, lol.

I had fun making all of these cookies and cupcakes, but I was so exhausted.I know they are not the best looking....yet, but practice makes perfect, right?

Today I have to finish the birthday cake and re-fix the Scarecrow costume. LP wore it on Thursday to his school Halloween dance, yesterday to his class Halloween party and he will be wearing it tonight to Scareview. Somebody alert the fashion police. I am sure he must be breaking some law.

Before I leave you and go back to my baking I need to share little conversation I had last night with LP.

Mr. Misery took LP to his hockey practice. After they came home Mr. Misery says:

"L told me to say Hi to you"

Not sure which L he was referring to I asked."L who?"

LP responds for his dad: "Your friend L the barber"

Me: "Oh, thank you, but L is a hairdresser"

LP: "No, she is a barber because she always barbers my hair"

Me: "No, she's a hairdresser and she cuts your hair"

LP: "Sometimes she barbers it"

OK, it was clear I wasn't going to win this one. Sorry, L. I love ya, but you barber hair...

I am off to finish the Birthday Cake....Have a great and SAFE HALLOWEEN everyone.

Halloween, Scarecrow and Cookies

So I made my first costume last night. I must say it looks pretty good for a costume virgin like me.

It took me less then an hour to make....I impressed myself. I do have some tweaking to do, but I will wait for tomorrow morning when Little Peanut puts it on.

Scarecrow Almost Finished

Hormone Boy said that we need an actual proof of me making it.

After I took the picture of LP in his Scarecrow costume I added more straw to his sleeves to make them look fuller and I taped some straw on top of his shoulders coming out of his vest so it looks like he has a rip in his shirt.

I had blast making this and the look on LP's face after it was done was the best reward.

This costume cost me only $5.50 to make.

Thrift store shirt..................$1.00
Thrift store pants..................$1.00
Thrift store vest...................$1.00
Dollar store Scarecrow hat..........$1.00
Dollar store Raffia (straw).........$1.50
HeatnBond & Tuck tape........from my drawer
Look on LP's face..................................PRICELESS

Compare with it with $40.00 costume from eBay and I saved $34.50.

After I finished the costume I was in the Suzy Homemaker mood so I whipped up another batch of my Double Double Carbs & Trouble Cookies (2 kinds of chocolate chips and 2 kinds of nuts). If you like the recipe just go here.

Double Double Carbs & Trouble Cookies

They might not be the healthiest cookies out there (not even close), but they are sure delicious.

Don't forget to enter my GIVEAWAY. It ends tomorrow.Tell you friends...

I am off to make some Halloween cookies and cupcakes for my kids school parties. We have a Halloween dance in LP's school today complete with a Baron of Beef dinner so no cooking and no dishes for me tonight....yey me.

I Love Thrift Stores, Yes I Do...

Seriously, it's only 8:27am and I am exhausted. I made the mistake not to read posts from all the blogs I follow and I had hours and hours of reading this morning....tonight I will read them....no matter what's on TV.

Yesterday I took Hormone Boy to his Diabetes Halloween Event....he had so much fun. While he was being just one of the kids mommy dearest when to look for some bargains.

This is the first year I am making Halloween costume for my son. I used to go on eBay or Disney Store and buy them. I realized, that I will not spend $40.00 on a costume that my 7 year old will wear for few hours.

The Little Peanut decided that he wants to be a Happy Scarecrow this year. He knows I dislike scary and violent costumes so he made sure he told me that he wants to be a Happy Scarecrow......Happycrow he called it.He explained to me that if he told people that he wants to be Happycrow they wouldn't understand him and he is in no mood to explain to everybody his mom's costume rules so outside the house he shall call himself HAPPY SCARECROW....bless his little heart.

So I visited my favorite Salvation Army thrift store for some old clothing I can make the costume from. I found 3 pieces at $1.00 each (pants,vest and shirt). Tonight I will attempt to make my first costume...so make sure you come back tomorrow for some good laughs.

When I was in the thrift store I noticed how many people are there shopping....not for costumes, but everyday things. I love to go to that particular store once in a while to see if I can find something interesting. I've been going there for years and everytime I went there was few peoples here and there, maybe 3 cars in the parking lot....Well, this time the parking lot was absolutely full and people everywhere. I guess that is the perfect picture of the times we are living in. It made me little sad...

Anyway, while looking for some costume pieces I also found some other great items. I was so stoked...

Like New SUGOi Jacket for Little Peanut for $3.50

Brand new golf shoes for Little Peanut for $6.00

I also found brand new Denver Hayes turtleneck for Mr. Misery for only $3.00. I love bargains like that, don't you?

After I picked up Hormone Boy we headed home and since it was getting late and Little Peanut had hockey practice I stopped at McDonald's (or Rotten Ronnie's)for a quick bite. We ordered to orders of fries and chicken nuggets.When we got to the car the take out bag was soaked from the grease. The fries inside were dripping with oil and the chicken nuggets were lukewarm.For those who were in doubt that McDonald's makes their nuggets from chicken doubt no more. Hormone Boy found a bone in his nugget....we'll have to see and wait for the DNA testing of the bone if it's a chicken bone for sure.

Shame on you, McDonald's...this was the worst meal I had in a long time and talk about waste of my money.

....It's 4:07pm and I am finally finishing this post.

Today is my BFF's day off and the wonderful Mr. Misery called her and volunteered to watch her baby girl for the day so her and I can have Girl's Day out. We went to SuperWalMart to stock up on groceries and Halloween goodies.

Thank you Mr. Misery....we had fun.

Life Is So Much Better With A Cup Of Coffee

Good Morning World...how are you feeling today?

I am sitting here with a cup of my Maxwell's House brew feeling....OK, I guess. I can see the sun peeking behind the mountain so it might be a decent day.

I decided not to depress you too much today....not like yesterday.

Wow, the sun is up and shining right into my eyes as I try to type....Oh, no I am melting, I am melting

Ok, before I get too rowdy here I want to thank the wonderful and beautiful Polly from The 5th Sister.
Polly just awarded me with this beautiful Heartfelt Award. Thank you so much.

Where was I? Getting old, can't remember nothing anymore.I need one of those As Seen On TV little recorders so I know where I parked lol (gift idea...wink,wink).

For all of my bloggy friends out there, my little sister decided to follow and read what I have to say...it warms my heart, it truly does.

OMG, I am all over the place today.

I remember what I wanted to share today.

The other night my hubby took me for dinner to our favorite Italian place. We know the owner well as we used to be his competition (very friendly I might add). He was looking well, so my hubby asked if he lost some weight.

Indeed he did. He told us that he went on Michael Thurmond's 6 Weeks Body Makeover. He lost 33 pounds in 6 weeks. He was looking fit and trim.

I went home and checked it out. You start with a special test called Blueprint to determine what body type you are and then for $19.99 per week you can sign up and you'll receive their program tailored to your body type. If you do not lose up to 30 pounds they will refund your money.

Apparently after 6 weeks you resume your normal lifestyle.

It sounds interesting and I might give it a try, but right now I can't afford it and I have enough on the go to start something like that. I must say, I was impressed with how good and healthy our friend looked.

Little Peanut Making Cookies Last Night

Moving on...today is a busy day for me.

Hormone Boy (HB) has only half a day of school today and then I have to take him up to his Diabetes Clinic for "A Spooky Diabetes Event" at 3pm to meet other D-children (his nurse told him he must come because there will be 2 D-girls in his age lol).

Little Peanut (LP) comes home at 3:30pm and he has a Figure Skating class at 3:45pm. He's done at 4:30pm. HB is done at 5pm. Then home for a quick dinner and off to hockey with LP from 6pm till 7:30pm.

Hope you have a great day and don't forget to Live With Passion (Tony Robbins).

Don't Promise Anything - Just Shut Up

This is the fourth week on my journey from Misery to Happiness and let me tell you, I love every minute of it.

Now that I am over the initial shock of what is happening to my family, I am also over feeling sorry for myself and I am definitely over being a poor little victim sitting scared in the corner.

I spend more time looking forward then looking back. It doesn't make it any less scary, but it's a progress.

This morning after the boys left for school I was having my quiet moment with a cup of coffee trying to figure out the game plan for today. I kept going back to all the things I experienced last few months and all the things I learned along the way.

I noticed one thing. When I though I was happy and my life went according to plan I didn't notice the little things that were out of place. I didn't really pay attention to people around me and how they behave. I had "friends" I enjoyed spending time with, I had friends who's businesses I supported, I had friends I always invited over, I had friends I did favors for no matter how big or small.
Life was good.

Today I am sitting here, looking around and thinking where the hell are all those people. All those people who talk the talk, but don't walk the walk.

You know the people who promise everything, but don't deliver because it might interfere with their life or they are just too lazy or selfish...

You invite people to dinners, BBQ, parties, concerts at the luxury booth. You do favor for them that nobody else would and even though it will affect your life and cause you a temporary inconvenience you still do it because that's what friends do, right?

They all tell you: "We will have to have you over soon", "we'll get together", "I own you big one", "I will make it up to you", "we'll have to do something soon"....bla, bla,bla

You know those people? Apparently I do and quite a few of them. What I don't get why do they say anything? You know you're not going to return the favor, you know you are not going to have me over, you know you don't care about my life. Why say it? Just SHUT UP... I do what I do because I want to, that's who I am and I never expect anything in return.

Do they say it because they think it will make them look better? Do they say it because they might do it if it fits in their plans and won't be too much hassle? Or do they say it just to feel good about themselves so they can think how unselfish they are? Whatever is the reason I don't care. I would think more of them if they didn't say anything just THANK YOU - that would be enough for me...

After Mr. Misery lost his job a year ago. We had those "friends" calling and coming over trying to get the scoop and see if we'll be alright.You wouldn't believe how many invitations and promises we had. Few months later nobody would call, come by or care. I think they were worried that I might ask for favors or they might feel some obligation to help us out.

In 12 months we didn't receive one dinner invitation or one party invitation. I didn't get one invite for coffee or lunch. Not one person stopped by my house just because and see if they can help (I had lots of people at our 3 BBQ's, murder mystery dinner, concert in a luxury box after Mr. Misery lost his job).

I spent 3 months in a hospital with my son during this period and do you think any of them came by to check on my husband and my little boy to see if they need anything? Do you think any of them came by the hospital to check on my son? Nope.

The funny part is that if any of these people lost their jobs and would go through what we are going through I would be there even today offering my help and dropping by just to say Hi with a plate of cookies or a casserole. Am I an idiot?

Just to let you know I am not angry or upset. This was just something that was going through my mind and it had to go out.

My Sunday Little Bits & Pieces

I like to spend my Sundays just hanging with my family and not thinking about any heavy stuff like jobs, bills and other issues.

I decided that my Sunday posts will be happy little bits and pieces of my life. The little things that matter, you know?

So to start, I want to give big THANK YOU to Lynn at Midday Escapades for the wonderful award she gave me. Thank you for your support and encouragement.

Last night I was bit by the baking bug and I decided to start pursuing my passion. The result was tasty and it didn't look bad either, but you be the judge.

My Delectable Chestnut Truffles

If you would like the recipe just click on the name under the picture.

My little boy is playing hockey again. Against my better judgement I decided to let him play in the Minor Hockey and he's loving it. Yesterday we went to his first game and they won 8:2...

He is #4. How cute are they?

I decided to have my first GIVEAWAY on my other blog Guide For Busy Mom so make sure you go and post a comment so you can win Removable Vinyl Lettering Art for your bedroom.

My Little Hockey Player

Backseat conversation in my car on the way to the hockey game between Hormone Boy (my 12 year old) and Peanut (my 7 year old).

P: I wish I was flat like Flat Stanley.
HB: Who's Flat Stanley?
P: Boy from my book.
HB:Oh, I bet you wanna be flat so you can squeeze under the doors
P: How did you guessed?
HB:I know everything...I can read your mind
P:Yeah, right...mom, can he read my mind?
I said NO.
P: See told ya
P:Anyway if I was flat you can just roll me up when it's raining and only my edges would get wet.
HB:Yeah, if you were flat you know how much money WE would save on feeding you?

Our Almost Finished House

That's all for today. I am off to hang with my sister and her boys.

I Just Might Be A Facebook Widow.

My husband who I decided to call Mr. Misery is a hard working man.

We've been together for 17 years and he always had a good job to support his family.He always found ways how to make extra money if needed.

Well, October 30th 2008 Mr. Misery lost his "safe job" of a lumber yard manager after 10 years overnight and without a warning. He showed up for work in the morning and was home 30 minutes later with a pink slip. The reason given: economic slowdown (the only employee that was let go). The real reason: new young boss with a huge chip on his shoulder needed to get rid off him.

Anyway, Mr. Misery is trying very hard to find a job. He applied for almost 500 jobs in last 10 months. He has lots of experience in different fields.

In August 2009 Mr. Misery was hired by a Logistic company that works on the Oil Rigs. He was so excited. This company has a contract for a rig, but for last 3 months is waiting for the starting date. So Mr. Misery is calling his new boss and checking in every week for last 9 weeks and every week he's told to call next week again cause they should have the starting date....as of today no starting date , yet.

Mr. Misery is getting very frustrated and I am trying to be there for him, but it's so hard. Two weeks ago our 12 year old son introduced him to Farmville on the Facebook.

For those not familiar with Farmville - it is an interactive game where you are the farmer and you are building your "Ultimate Farm". You can have animals, plant trees or plant ground crops. More you plant more money you have and higher you get.

You can choose to plant ground crops that need to be picked anywhere from 2 hours to 4 days. Mr.Misery decided to build the farm of his dreams I guess and he's just moving to higher levels with a speed of light. He keeps checking on his farm constantly, he plants his crop every 4 hours. Our friends are leaving him messages to get a job...all in a good fun.

We go over friends house for dinner and I overhear him talking to my BFF's father-in-law about losing the whole field of blueberries because he forgot to pick them. Poor grandpa thinks he's talking about actual farm and feels sorry for him.

My BFF calls me , but first she ends up talking to Mr. Misery for half an hour about their farms and comparing notes.

The biggest blow came few nights ago.

The kids were in bed. Everything was done. Mr. Misery was "farming" and...

Me:"I want to go to bed"
Mr. Misery: "OK"
Me: " I mean I WANT to go to bed"
Mr. Misery - still farming "OK go ahead"
Me: "I WANT TO GO TO BED WITH YOU"
Mr. Misery: "OOOH, OK but I have to come back in 15 minutes to pick my crops"

...

So I ask you, am I becoming a Facebook Widow???

Somebody call and tell Mr. Misery that he has a JOB before I go postal on him...

I better go now...I noticed that Mr. Misery is not farming and kids are still sleeping...Wink,Wink

Before I go I want to tell you to stop by my Guide For Busy Moms site to enter my first GIVEAWAY.

I Picked Up a Tag

I went over for a visit to One Cluttered Brain I she just got her first Blog Tag and passed it on so I promised to take her tag and pass it along. So everybody who reads this consider yourself tagged (you don't have to, I won't be upset).
\

1. Where is your cell phone?
On my nightstand

2. Your hair?
Deep red and shoulder length

3. Your mother?
at her house probably watching TV

4. Your father?
with my mother

5. Your favorite food?
Schnitzels and baked Brie

6. Your dream last night?
Something about elephants

7. Your favorite drink?
Strawberry Daiquiri or Italian soda

8. Your dream/goal?
to be an awesome pastry chef/making good living writing articles

9. What room are you in?
living room

10. Your hobby?
baking, scrapbooking, skiing, golf and blogging

11. Your fear?
My biggest fear is that my son will have complications with his diabetes

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years?
have no debt, steady income and be healthy

13. Where were you last night?
at home writing my blogs

14. Something that you aren’t?
Fake, selfish, risk taker

15. Muffins?
Cranberry Orange

16. Wish list item?
new couch, bigger kitchen and lots of baking tools

17. Where did you grow up?
Ski resort in Slovakia

18. Last thing you did?
played Pogo

19. What are you wearing?
pajama pants and T-shirt, very bright striped socks

20. Your TV?
living room, family room and bedroom (I know, I know...)

21. Your pets?
trying to get over the loss of our puppy

22. Friends?
one very best friend, few casual friends and hopefully some of you

23. Your life?
getting better day by day, will be awesome after hubby gets a job, counting my blessings daily

24. Your mood?
very content right now...wish more people would come and read my blog

25. Missing someone?
not at the moment

26. Vehicle?
Kia Sportage I call Priscilla the queen of the desert

27. Something you’re not wearing?
Shoes

28. Your favorite store?
Winners - they have great kitchen and cooking stuff I can afford

29. Your favorite color?
pink and red

30. When was the last time you laughed?
in the afternoon driving in the car with my hubby coming home from shopping

31. Last time you cried?
this morning when I wrote my final Butterfly post

32. Your best friend?

Krista - the wonderfully twisted, devil may care attitude girl with bubbly personality and absolutely no skills in the kitchen
and of course my hubby

33. One place that I go to over and over?
ice ring (7-10 times per week)

34. One person who emails me regularly?
my blogger friends

35. Favorite place to eat?
Campo Marina - Italian restaurant



That was a long one, but I kept my promise...

Looking For My Butterflies - Final Chapter & Beginning

Before I start let me apologize for the length of this post, but I wanted to finish it and move on onto happier and better things.That was my past...

As I mentioned yesterday I will finish my quest for my passion today. In order to do that I will give you only highlights of the important things that happened to me from the time I left you hanging yesterday.

If I was going to details it would take a very long time and let's face it, none of us have that.

August 1994, age 25. Living in my new house full of people I am taking care of. Trying very hard to have a child for last 16 months.Seeing many specialists, taking many pills and gaining weight. Trying to start another business - house cleaning (it's going well). Spending every Sunday at my parents house listening to my father mocking me about my weight, crying all the way home.

My father comes over one day from a vacation with a big idea. He found this really good restaurant for a great price in a small resort town 400km away. He wants to buy it because his "dream" is to cook in his own restaurant and he knows "the business". My parents have no money,limited English, no understanding of Canadian laws or business, but my husband wants to gain my father's approval(yes ridiculous, I know) so against my will he offers to buy the restaurant for him.

The restaurant was in bad shape. We spent 6 months of traveling going to courts to get leans off the restaurant and negotiating to help my father to follow "his dream".

6 months later the restaurant was ours. My mom refused to give up her job in case the restaurant doesn't make it(I wish I had this information before).
I've been asked to go and help my dad for 3 weeks to start the restaurant and hire some help. It was a promise...

I never went back home to my beautiful dream house. I ran the restaurant 7 days a week from 8am till midnight. I lived with my dad in a rental house. I saw my husband on the weekends while he was helping me. During this period I was miserable and my dad thought it was because of my marriage(really, don't you think it is because you ripped me out of my house and took me away from my new husband and successful business?). He even suggested to get a divorce, give my husband the house and keep the restaurant for our family.

Year later my husband and my mom quit their jobs, sold our homes and followed us to the land of plenty (plenty of BS if you ask me).

For the next 8 years...

• I fought with my parents over the restaurant and the way it was run every single day while living under the same rental roof.
  
• I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycistic Ovaries Syndrome), went through fertility treatments and after 4 years of trying to conceive I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
• After difficult birth and emergency C-section I was back working at the restaurant within a month (my baby was sleeping in the back in his car seat and it was breaking my heart).
• Every time I tried to take a day off I was made to feel guilty.
• We bought a new house, but my parents moved in with us to save money on rent.
  
• I found out that my sister's boyfriend(the first one she moved in with to rebel) is a drug addict, alcoholic and manic depressant. She's been lying to us since day one and wouldn't admit to putting up with abuse.
• My husband had enough of the BS and got a job.
  
• My sister and her boyfriend moved to town to be with us.
• I hired my sister to be our waitress - what a mistake that was.
• My parents bought their own house and moved out.
  

After 8 years I had enough. My son was 4 and I wanted to be with him more then anything. My parents couldn't run the restaurant without me so we sold it.

September 11, 2001 - the restaurant was SOLD.

I was home with my baby boy thinking what to do next. I started selling on Ebay occasionally when my son was born so I decided to continue in that.

I love to shop and look for bargains. Could that be my passion? I later discovered I shop to fulfill the emptiness I feel. Mostly I buy gifts for others and I have a feeling it might be because I want to feel loved (I know I am, but that's the way I feel).

Now lets see the highlights from 2001 till now:

• I got scammed to start Herbalife. I hated it.
• Living here for 6 years and still have no friends. Missing my old house.
  
• I joined Curves to find friends and get in shape (NO and Yes).
• Became close friends with couple that worked with my hubby - got screwed because of jealousy (my hubby got promotion).
• Built an addition to our house so my sister can leave her boyfriend and move in.
• My sister found out she was pregnant and so was I (same due date). She went back to her boyfriend.
• I was worried about my sister and her baby so we built a guesthouse on our property for her and her boyfriend.
• Our babies were born 9 days apart. Her boyfriend was trying to get clean so he stayed at home while she went to work.
  
• I took care of the babies while keeping eye on her boyfriend. He felt of the wagon many times.
• My sister decided to marry the drug addict.
• I agreed to give my sister a loan and pay off their debt ($20,000).
  
• My older boy was having major behaviour issues in the Kindergarten.
• My sister's husband decided to get a job and move them 1,400 km away. Against her better judgment she went with him.
• My sister couldn't make loan payments and I was sending her money for food and diapers because her husband cracked it up. She chose to stay with him . I tried everything in my powers for 12 years to get her away from him. She got pregnant again.
• My older boy was diagnosed with ADHD and high IQ in grade 2.
• Year later my older boy is diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. For many months we had to fight with local minor hockey for benching him and trying to make him hide and be ashamed of his disease. We won, but we're being persecuted by the minor hockey executives (volunteers in a small town) ever since and eventually had to pull both of our kids out of hockey.
  
• My hubby and I became friends with his boss and his wife. I became close friend with the wife. She got diagnosed with cancer on the day of my 36th Birthday, he left her for a slut the next day. I helped her kids to care for her and year later I watched my friend die.
• Through hockey I found another close friend. Single mom struggling and depressed. I started to spend lots of time with her. Having her for dinners, driving her son to hockey, showering them with presents, helping her pay her rent and food bills....eventually I asked my husband to get her a job at his place of work (full time job with benefits).
  
• We sold our house, moved into our travel trailer, bought old cottage and decided to renovate
  
• My husband got a new boss (28 year old arrogant non believer without a conscience I call "the devil"). He used my best friend to give him gossip and complete info about our life. She added some stories and rumours she made up (she's been talking about my hubby behind his back to their co-workers I guess to be important since the day he got her the job).
• October 30, 2008 my husband lost his well paying job and benefits overnight without a warning after 10 years (explanation - economic slowdown - he was the only one at his store to let go). My explanation - the devil was upset about people respecting my hubby and his knowledge and not giving the same to him. But I can write a novel about one year working with this ego-maniac.
• I lost another FRIEND, but she managed to introduce me to the most wonderful person in the whole wide world who I call my BFF for almost 5 years now.

The rest of the story is the beginning of my journey from Misery to Happiness.

This is to my BFF.
I know you are reading this (the only person in my world that reads my blog except my husband) and I want you to know that if it wasn't for you and your love and support these few years I wouldn't never made it as far as I did. You are my one true friend. You are the wind beneath my wings. You are so wonderfully twisted and you brought me out of my shell and showed me what I was missing all those years. You got me really drunk for the first time in my life and for the first time in my life I didn't care who knows it. You taught me to dance like nobody's watching and you taught me to sing like nobody's listening. I LOVE YOU....

Yesterday after reading all my posts, talking to my best friend and my family and meditating I realized I KNOW WHAT MY PASSION IS.....BAKING. It was there all along I just didn't realize it.

I asked my kids last night what they think makes mommy happy. My little one said:"Mommy, every time you make cakes and decorate cookies you smile and you sing. You are the best baker and cooker in the whole wide world" and the older one added "but you haven't done it since daddy lost his job, why?"

I want to be the best darn baker and cake decorator. I've been trying to do it for so long and every time I start life interrupts me.

In case you were wondering about my sister. She's divorced (her ex is MIA ), living with my parents, has a good job and I am helping her to take care of her two boys. One of them has Asperger's with ADHD. My parent's grew up, realized some mistakes (baby steps) and we have a pretty good relationship. They actually told me that they're proud of me.

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU and thank you for actually coming back and supporting me.

Looking For My Butterflies - Part 3

My new neighbour introduced me to her husband's best friend...my future husband.

I was only 23 and he was 34. I didn't want anything to do with him. I was ready for excitement and maybe some rebellion.For the next two months we started to spend some time together and it turned into casual dating. I started to have strange feelings. I was very confused and I didn't know if I am falling in love or if I am just trying to find a way out of my parents house.

Anyway, two months after our first date we were hanging at my house watching TV. I was complaining about my life, about my parents, about working my butt off and getting nowhere.Suddenly, he looks at me and says: Do you want to get married? I was stunned. I realized this is my way out. I didn't care if I was in love. I didn't care if I was ready. I saw an opportunity to end my miserable life and start fresh and I took it.

Was it wrong? Maybe. Was is risky? Definitely. Was I possibly hurting someone I care for? Yes. I didn't care. I was willing to take the chance.

I said YES.

The next day my wonderful man bought me a beautiful engagement ring and came over to ask my parents for their permission and blessing. He was so nervous. After he finished his little speech my father looked at my mother and said: "What is he saying? What does he want?" I was so embarrassed and mad.

Month later I moved in with my fiance and started planning our wedding we paid for ourselves. My parents asked me if I can still give them half of my paycheck even thou I no longer live with them to help them out. They knew I would feel guilty enough to do it.

Since I hated working graveyard shifts and I was planning on giving my parents half of my money my fiance suggested that I should just quit my job. He had a good job and he wanted me to enjoy planning our wedding and take some time off and find out what makes me happy (how could you NOT love a man like that?)

I agreed...it was time for me to discover my hidden talents and find my passion.

Till few weeks later...I found out that my parents bought a house (apparently they saved enough money for the down payment of their house to fulfill their dream). They were moving an hour away and since my sister was in her last year of high school they asked me if she can move in with us. Instantly I graduated from big sister to a mother of a 17 year old. Time to put my life on hold again, but I had two weeks didn't I?

Anyway, for next 6 months I was planning my wedding and trying to raise a hormone raging teenager. I managed totally destroy the relationship with my only sibling since I had to be her disciplinary and a mother. I couldn't be her sister. I hated that. She didn't trust me, I didn't trust her.

May 13, 1993 I married my best friend and despite what my family put him through he said YES.

For the next 5 months I tried to be the best wife and a mother (to my sister)I could. I was Suzie Homemaker.

I guess in my own way I was trying to see what makes me happy. I cooked and baked. I tried to make ornamental wreath , Christmas decorations and flower arrangements and sell them at various Craft Fairs. I tried in-home daycare.

My sister moved out and moved in with her first boyfriend(if there is wrong decision to be made my sister will make it, if there is an easy road to be taken my sister will take it).

Finally alone we decided to start fresh again...we sold our house. We bought a beautiful dream home and started thinking about children. That didn't last long.

Within few weeks my aunt from Slovakia called me and begged me to let my little cousin (18) to come to stay with us for a year to learn English and to get away from her "bad" friends. I said....YES.

What is wrong with me? Please, tell me....

After my rebellious cousin arrived I received more phone calls from "home". I said yes to two of my childhood friends who wanted to come over to work as Live-In nannies.I found them jobs, I put them up, I paid their bills and I got screwed...

Through all this I was dealing with manic depressant father who decided that even though he got his chef's degree he's not willing to work for anybody, because everybody is out to get him and use him.

This story is getting really long and you might be getting bored. Trust me I am not even touching the top layer of my life. You don't want me to dig deep. We would be here for many months to come.

So tomorrow I will finish this series and I will try to figure out with your help if there is any chance for me to find my butterflies. I am starting to feel that there might be something I could be passionate about so stay tuned...

Looking For My Butteflies - Part 2

So here I am...

20 years old, working as a slave for below minimum wage. Sharing a room at the refugee camp with my parents and my sister (talk about no privacy). Just had my heart broken by a man who treated me like crap and with whom I am totally in love with(is it love real love?).

Just so you have a clear picture of my dysfunctional relationship:

I love the theatre...The Phantom Of The Opera started their tour in Salzburg (not very far from where we lived). I expressed my desire to see it. My boyfriend decided to go see it with his friends (cheaper to buy one ticket)and leave me behind. To show how much he cares for me he made me "a copy" of the CD he purchased for himself after the show.

My boyfriend likes the girl he's with to look good (he's not good looking at all - was I blind?)so he makes sure I go jogging every single night (rain or shine) to keep in shape. I did. I still hate jogging to this day...I just can't do it. I tried so hard to over come this.

I express the desire to visit Salzburg. It's one of the most beautiful places in Europe. He takes me there after midnight to make sure everything is closed and he doesn't have to buy me even a cup of coffee. We walked around the city for hours. It was beautiful and I thought it was so romantic at the time.

You get the point..."man of my dreams" leaves for Boston never to be seen again. Before he left he gave me a little gift to remember him by (of course I took it as a sign to be together). Little gold heart pendant for my chain...ooh, you say? Few days later I noticed that the heart has a little dent on it - how fitting.

After he left I spent another year at the camp waiting to receive our Landed Immigrant Visa for Canada( there was a revolution in China so Canada put hold on all of the other immigrants and we had to find someone to sponsor us). Luckily my dad's friend from Ottawa got together with the Slovak catholic church and they agreed to help us out.

I won't bore you with the details of our arrival to Canada or with our beginnings.

That is a book deal waiting to happen (just kidding).

All you need to know that for the next two years I worked, worked and worked some more to support my family. No time for finding my passion and paying attention to butterflies. After I was done at my jobs and went to help my dad with his job (door to door salesman of frozen foods without the knowledge of English language)

We lived 1 year in Ottawa and when I was starting to make friends and getting some social life my father decided to move as all to Vancouver in the search of "his dream".

Since my dad decided to follow his passion of cooking and enrolled himself in a Culinary School I had to find a good job to support the family once again. My sister was in high school and all my mom could find was a low paying housekeeping job.

Luck was on my side and I got hired as a room service server for the Westin Hotel.

I made new friends, started to venture out and was thinking about getting my own place and living my life. I was 23 years old.

I found myself a roommate and I decided to tell my parents that it is time for me to move out, follow my destiny, keep my own paycheck (I gave every penny I made since I was 19 to my family). My mom played the guilt card, my dad actually cried and told me they can't survive without me, we are in this together....

My move was off. I had to help my dad (trying to be chef) and my sister (talented volleyball player) to follow their passions.

Few months later I met my neighbour and we became good friends. I was helping her out with her two adorable boys and she introduced me to my husband...not a bad trade.


Part 3 coming tomorrow...still looking for signs of my passion...where are they?
Am I missing something, help me...

I Feel The Love - Another Award

Before I start getting emotional, open my heart and dig deep again I have to share another wonderful news with you.

I got another AWARD.....yes, little old me got another award. This award was given to me for my other blog/site Guide For Busy Moms by a wonderful lady called Jenn from Rook No.17

Jenn is a great artist. I love visiting her site for the inspiration and some laughs. I just lurked through the gallery of her cakes and let me tell you....Jenn I am so jealous of your talent. For you who don't know Jenn you must pop over for a visit...say Hi from me.

I was thinking hard who should I share this wonderful award with since I don't have that many followers, yet...

I decided to spread the bloggy love and share this award with my two new friends who are fellow Canadians and who showed me their support early on.

Marilyn from A Lot Of Loves

and

Shelly from Tropical Mom

So stop over at Marilyn's and Shelly's and show them some bloggy love. Remember sharing is caring.

Also drop by my other blog/site that started this whole crazy adventure in cyber space for me.

Looking for My Butterflies - Part 1

Yesterday I read an amazing post at Live Laugh Latte from Holly named Butterflies.

That post had bigger impact on me than I though. As I was writing a comment I realized that I am not TRULY happy.That I am not complete. How can I be complete without butterflies, without ever seizing a moment, without knowing what is my passion. I never followed my passion. I was never given the opportunity or the option to follow my passion.

Everything I ever done or accomplished was because I had to. Not because I wanted to and just for the "heck of it". Because I HAD TO.

I was sent to a boarding school to learn the Hotel business when I was 14. I always wanted to be a Kindergarten teacher, but that was not acceptable to my parents. For 4 years I "visited" my family on the weekends. I arrived "home" almost every Friday night late. Saturday I usually spent with my little sister while my parent's worked (you know the hotel with 200 employees won't run itself for few hours once a week - me being sarcastic). Sunday I had lunch with my parents (unless something more important came along)they asked the same generic questions, dad mentioned my "weight". I collected my allowance for the week (at least that was generous)and I was off to the trains station (it took me 5 hours by trains to get to my dorm).

I learned to take care of myself and depend on myself. I became "the dependable one". I was the one who never got in trouble, who always bailed everybody out. The one who listened, but didn't judge and especially the one "we don't have to worry about".

I graduated and received my Business degree 5 days before my 18th birthday. The world was my oyster, I was going to do things, experience life, travel.....

Week later I was working for my father as a Front Desk Manager.My Oyster clamped shut right in front of my eyes..

Oh, did I forget to tell you that I could never say NO to my parents because that would be disrespectful and not proper? My mom is the ultimate Eastern European Guilt Tripping mother (I do love her to death).

Two months after my 19th birthday I found myself living in Austria. Great you think, she got out and she's living it up....not so fast.

Yes, I was living it up with my family in the refugee camp as a political refugee compliments of my dad's unwillingness to work with the Communist Party (we had to escape I know he had no choice). That's a long story I'm not ready to revisit yet.

2 years in Austria. Trying to survive and support my family (my sister was only 14). Working for little cash as the only German speaking member of our family washing dishes and cleaning toilets (while being called dirty immigrant) just to be able to buy little extras like ice cream, fresh fruit and decent clothing for my little sister. She went to the Austrian public school so I made sure she's not made fun of because she doesn't have stuff like the other teenagers.

While in Austria I met a boy, actually a man (24). He lived in the same camp waiting to immigrate to the USA. I was so lonely, he paid attention to me, he kissed me...we became a couple. I was in love and he was making his waiting period more pleasurable. I was hoping for the future, he was enjoying the present. That's the story how I became a doormat...

Long story short, he left for Boston (I stayed in the camp almost year longer then him waiting for Canada Landed Immigrant status)wrote me a Dear Bibi letter....had my heart broken for next few years...let's move on

You want to know the rest? You will have to wait till tomorrow....

If you want to read some more of my stuff I just posted article about Inexpensive Spa Treatments at Home

My Luck Is Changing & My First Award

I just had the best Sunday in a long, long time.

It's amazing how little things can make everything right. I've been miserable for so long that I almost lost the ability to notice the small things in my life.

I forgot to smell the roses, enjoy the sun, notice the happiness in my kids eyes when I get down to the floor and play with them. I made the misery take over not just my life, but the life of my family....

...but, yesterday I took the time to notice the small things and miracle happened. I was truly happy and felt blessed. What a feeling, what a rush. If I could bottle that feeling I would be a millionaire.

Anyway, I woke up to a beautiful sunny Sunday. My boys let me sleep, made their own breakfast and coffee for me.

I decided to stay away from my computer for the day and spend it with my family. We build a train track and played with the trains, Trevor my older one made lunch for the whole family (KD)and then the boys decided to go outside and build a fort while I tried to catch up on some housework.

Suddenly, my boys came running inside and yelling:" Mom, you gotta come out and see this". The back wall of our house was covered with LADYBUGS. Lots and lots of ladybugs. I asked the boys: "You know what this mean? Ladybugs bring you good luck and I have a feeling that it is our turn".

I have a feeling this was a sign letting me know that we will be alright.

Later I made a nice dinner and reinstated family dinner's at the dining room table with the GOOD CHINA (my hubby put his good shirt on).

My little one was so excited and told me how much he missed all of us having dinner together and asked me if we can do this every night.

We've been living in a trailer and now half finished house for so long that we somehow got away from this little, but important part of our life. I can make excuses for it, but I would be just lying to myself and you.

The Three Man That Make Me Complete

My wonderful Sunday wasn't finished yet.

I received my first BLOG AWARD.....yes, my very first and very special AWARD from Charisse and Holly over at Live Laugh Latte



Charisse and Holly are two great moms with an awesome blog. I love to go over everyday for a visit and some Latte. They are one of the first people who started following me and supporting me. You know what they say (whoever they are)"You Will Never Forget Your First". Thank you Charisse and Holly from the bottom of my heart.

I would love to pass this AWARD onto three other friends I made along the way. All three are amazing and their support and encouragement is never ending.

This AWARD goes to......

Corrie from Just Because my Pickle Talks.... She's an amazing and devoted mom of a child with Asperger's Syndrome who's positive outlook on everyday life is remarkable.

Polly from The 5th Sister. She's another amazing lady who's support touches my heart. I love her devotion to her family and her faith.

Kristen from Scrappin'My Bliss. Wisecracking, outgoing, bubbly and supportive girl whose posts make me smile and think at the same time.

Once again, thank you to all of you who enjoy my blogs, who support me and encourage me along the way.

Great Giveaways You Can't Miss

I was not going to write a post today.

It's beautiful sunny Sunday here and I decided to spend it with my family and maybe catching up on some housework.

But before I go I want to let you know about two awesome GIVEAWAYS from blogs I follow.

You must stop by Indiechick Designs for an awesome blog makeover giveaway.Who can refuse a good makeover? I know I need one.


Dandelion Wishes is having a GIVEAWAY for 2 dozen of beautiful hand frosted Halloween cookies to promote her friend's new blog. You can't refuse this delicious offer.

See you all later, have a wonderful Sunday.

Butter Boy Gets Funky

I didn't want to do another post tonight, but I just couldn't help myself.

This is priceless.

Just watch closely the eyes of the little boy after he bites into the "FRIED BUTTER".

The lesson for today is: Do not give your children fried butter unless you are ready for the Butter Dance.



Boy dances after tasting deep-fried butter

Keeping Up Appearances

One reason why I love Saturday night is Hyacinth Bucket.

Don't tell me some of you never heard of Hyacinth and her sisters Violet, Daisy and our Rose.

Hyacinth is a main character in one of the funniest (in my opinion) British comedies called Keeping Up Appearances.

This eccentric social climbing snob just cracks me up and puts a smile on my face.
It's not a Saturday without her Candlelight Supper and Royal Worcester double-glazed Avignon china.

In tonight's episode her husband Richard stood up to her for the first time (and I believe the last time)and the look on her face was just priceless.

I just had to share it with you.

Comment Etiquette Is Very Important

It is an awful and depressing Saturday.The weather just sucks.

It's almost 6pm and I am still in my PJ's and I don't care.

Despite it all my day turned out to be quite productive.

This morning I read a post from one of my favorite blogs I follow Midday Escapades about lending a hand to fellow bloggers. I enjoyed it very much and being a new blogger I really appreciated it. You must go over to the Midday Escapades and visit Lynn. She's a terrific lady always ready to help.I spent hours exploring her site and learning stuff. Thanks to her blog I learned today how to make my own widgets at Widget Box and I also made my very own Grab My Button. Believe me these are huge accomplishments for me...thank you Lynn.

As I mentioned I am new to this blogger game and I have so much to learn.

Few weeks ago I signed up to three groups looking for support, help and of course friendship. I met some wonderful people (mostly ladies). When I received my first followers and comments I was so excited. I felt so encouraged - THANK YOU.

This past week I have been doing little research on Comments and Follow up etiquette and I launched my little experiment.

Last 5 days I spent hours of reading posts and posting valuable and caring comments on many blogs. I tracked each and every comment I posted and received back.

The results made me little sad - I received less then 10% of comments back.

What surprised me the most is that I left two or more comments on blogs that promise to return comments and following if you follow and NOTHING. Not even thanks for stopping by.

Another article I find very helpful was The Comment Etiquette: The Guide To Proper Blog Commenting.

I didn't like the result of my little experiment, but I am not giving up...I'm here to stay.

MBNA Canada Is Starting To Piss Me Off

As you already know we felt behind on some of our credit card payments in the spring.

In July when my hubby found a job on the Oil Rig and got to work for 3 "whole weeks" before they shut it down I made arrangements with all of the credit card companies to make payments to get out of this hole.

One of them was MBNA Canada. They were nice and understanding. We made arrangements and even thou they made us jump through hoops we did it. Every month after I made a payment through my online banking I had to call the person in charge of our accounts and give them the payment reference number. That's all good. I didn't mind that.

What really upset me was that even after we were making payments for the amount they asked and on time we were getting daily phone calls from their agents to talk about over accounts and try to squeeze more money out of us. They were leaving messages asking to call immediately.

I am starting to think that MBNA Canada is one screwed up company. Over the 4 months we received calls from over 20 different people trying to deal with our account. Every conversation we had started with me saying that we are dealing with so and so. Then every time I was informed that I need to deal with the person calling me because my file was moved to them...seriously...my poor file..so many hands handling it ...must be real worn out.

It was to the point that I had no idea who the hell should I call next!

Two months ago I received call from yet another person. I was offered a deal.

If I will allow them to take a set payment (they came up with the amount I should pay and I agreed to it) directly from my account every month for the next 6 months (January 2010)in return they will leave me alone and won't call me again and I won't have to check with them (whoever they are) every time I make payment.

Sounds good, doesn't it? Well, the credit card company is the "devil" and they DO LIE!

For almost two months I had peace. No phone calls. I was paying my bills. Getting my life together. Then I received a call from yet another person from lovely MBNA Canada trying to discuss my account and how can I give them more $$$$$$. I explained to her very calmly that I did what they asked me and they are not doing what they promised. Suddenly, she apologized and told me that she just noticed the note of not calling me in my file.

My poor file sure gets around. I shall call her Round Around Sue.

All was good with the world once again. My faith in credit card agents was restored.

TODAY - the gloom day....

I just received a phone call from yet another MBNA Canada agent. Informing me that my payments are not high enough for her liking....boo freaking hoo.

I did my typical spiel letting her know about me fulfilling my commitment while jumping through hoops and her not honoring their promise.

Apparently no such promise was ever made. Did this annoying chick just called me a liar? I think so....better watch it sister.

She had an answer for everything. Can I give them more money because my credit is still bad.

Thanks for that info...I didn't know that my credit is in the crapper for the first time in my life. I missed it while cruising the French Riviera.

Suddenly when I wasn't letting up and I was getting really pissed off and kept calling her on everything I did and they didn't she changed her tune.

Apparently she doesn't want any money. She just wanted to let me know that I still owe them for the 2 payments I missed in the Spring regardless of what I am paying now. Well, maybe the person who set up my payments should have thought about that....
She also mentioned that they will keep calling no matter what they promised.

My response before I hung up?

No more money, you got your payment, keep calling I won't pick it up.

I am liking this "new" me. Few months ago I would be scared, stressed and freaking out. Now I know my rights and nothing can bring me down because I am doing the best I can.

So as for you MBNA Canada you can kiss my beautiful round behind....

Just a Bit of Trevor-ism

Me: How do you like your new jeans?

Trevor: I don't, they are uncomfortable cause they falling off my butt.

Me: Put a belt on

Trevor: I did, but it keeps rolling down

Me: But they look good on you and your tushie looks so cute in them

Trevor: Whatever.....(sight)

Me: You have to suffer for beauty...

Trevor: Well, I didn't ask to be born beautiful


My Very Own Krispy Kreme Donut Maker

Why Good News and Bad News Always Go Hand In Hand ?

I really don't know where to start. I have so many things running around in my head. All those scary little voices talking to me all at the same time (how rude is that?).

First things first, I feel much better and it is a beautiful sunny afternoon.

I did little pampering today - I went for a haircut and "I can see clearly now the bangs are gone. I can see all obstacles in my way (damn, I knew those bangs were good for something)".

This was a view from my front porch couple mornings ago

I have 2 news. One good and one bad. Why do they always come hand in hand? No, we can't have just one good news, we must put the bad one in there as well or otherwise the delicate balance of the universe will be disturbed. What's wrong with two good news? I'm sure the universe wouldn't mind.

So which one do you want first? Let's start with the bad news.It doesn't affect me directly, but that doesn't make it any better.

My best friend's husband lost his job yesterday. We live in a small town with hardly no industry. We had one plant with decent wages and benefits that employed over 100 workers (mostly man). All of these man lost their jobs yesterday. The worst part is that majority of them worked there since High School, have no other skills and are family men with children, mortgages and stay at home wives. I don't even know what this will do to our community.

Every time you turn on the news "The recession is over, things are looking up....bla,bla,bla" Try to tell that to these families.My best friend will be fine. She has a good job with good pay and benefits so they will get through this.

I know exactly how they feel. It was us last October and my husband is still home without a paycheck. Which brings me to my good news.

It looks like my husband is leaving on the weekend and we will get regular paychecks again. We probably won't see him till Christmas and we'll miss him, but that's life.
We can always count on Skype. So keep your fingers crossed and send your prayers my way(thank you, thank you, thank you).

My neighbour left his sprinklers on....

So I officially entered third week of my challenge and I am really enjoying this.

My attitude changed so much and everything is so much easier to handle.

Say "good job, little Miss Sunshine". Come on say it, say it....I can't hear you....you know you waaanna. Fine, don't say it. See if I care....but I do, I do (can you tell I have a pre-teen in a house?).

What else can I tell you?

I've been working on my blogs. Trying to make them nice and inviting. I saw some blogs lately and they are so wickedly awesome. I don't know how they do it, but I am willing to learn and keep trying. I do not have a clue about graphic design and HTML code is a foreign word to me. Baby steps, baby steps...I know.

I am going to check out some course at our local college and see if they offer anything that will help me. My 12 year old is a computer kid and I am sure if he looked into it he could figure things out for me, but apparently 12 year olds don't have time...

Oh, I learned a new expression yesterday: "Shut The Front Door!". I don't consider myself old since 40 is the new 20 ( I am so stoked about that), but my best friend's daughters (13 &15) make me feel so old.

....there is the School Bus, my youngest one is home. Need to get him changed in 5 minutes and take him to figure skating (hockey tomorrow).

Come back , you hear now?

Sometime's You Want To, But You Just Can't...

I survived the Thanksgiving weekend. I can't believe it's middle of October.

Today it's my friend Aisha's birthday (my little sister from another mother) and she just got proposed on the top of Blackcomb Mountain...oh, how romantic. I am so happy for her. She couldn't find a nicer guy.

Speaking of nice guys. My little sister (single mother with new boyfriend)and I were talking the other day about what type of man makes a good husband and how do you know he's the one.

This is my "Wedding Singer"

Well, I told her that if any guy will promise her what Adam Sandler promised Drew Barrymore in the Wedding Singer he's a keeper.

Just to refresh your memory or if you didn't watch the Wedding Singer due some unforeseen circumstances:

" I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
All I wanna do is grow old with you.

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh, it could be so nice, growing old with you.

I'll miss you. I'll kiss you.
Give you my coat when you are cold.

I'll need you. I'll feed you.
Even let ya hold the remote control.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink.
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink.
I could be the man who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you."

If you get this promise I would say he's a keeper. Forget the pre-nup just have him sign this and you'll be happy forever.

What this has to do with my journey from Misery to Happiness you ask?

Actually a lot. Rumbling like this is a sign of me becoming happy again and that is the most important thing.

I am happy for Aisha, I am happy for my sister and I am happy that my BFF forgot to buy me my Big Mommy Planner yesterday for $12.98 and she picked it up for me today on SALE for...wait for it.....wait for it..... $2.70.

And now on more serious note. I had every intention to work hard on my SEO and links today, but....

I woke up with a cold (at least I wrote article geared at the prevention of cold)

I had to go to my nephew's school because he had a major meltdown and it lasted over an hour. He hid under the secretary's desk and wouldn't talk and wouldn't come out. I was the only one who could talk to him and make him return to his classroom.

I noticed big sale on cheese and pasta in a flyer that was ending today. There was no way I was missing it.

Those sound like three good valid reasons for little slacking...don't you think?

Tomorrow is another day and hopefully the planets will aligned just right and there will be no distractions.

P.S. I did write three posts today. That must count for something

It Took All The Strength I had Not To Fall Apart...

Oh, No, Not I , I Will Survive
Oh, As Long As I Know How To Love, I Know I'll Stay Alive
I've Got All My Life To Live, I've Got All My Love To Give
And I'll Survive, I will Survive, Hey, Hey

Did you ever had a day when everything goes wrong? No matter what you do, no matter what you say and no matter how positive you are things just don't go your way.
I bet you did.

On Saturday it was my turn. It all started at 3am when my husband woke me up by kneeling me right into my spine. Don't ask me how and I am pretty sure there wasn't any "why" (there better not be why). I couldn't go back to sleep and I was tossing and turning till morning.

It was suppose to be nice and easy day. Sleep in. Have nice breakfast with my family. Grab a cup of coffee and catch up on some blogs. Make a simple dessert for Thanksgiving dinner we were invited to. Take my son to hockey and have a wonderful evening with my sister and my best friend and her family.

As you can imagine there was no sleeping in, breakfast turned into every man/woman for himself/herself grab-and-go kind of thing.

After catching up on my blogs I decided I will surprise everybody with some Pumpkin Cream Puffs. Sounds innocent enough.

I made my batch of the dough for the Cream Puffs. Filled the pastry bag and was ready to pipe it into the cookie sheet. Surprise, surprise it was too runny for piping. I had not choice but add more flour and now the puffs might not raise properly. I put them in the oven and I was waiting. Half way through I looked and they were not raising.

I decided to make another batch with little changes in my recipe. Half way through I noticed that my dough is more runny then the first batch. Great, what the heck I am going to do. I was getting so frustrated, clock was ticking and I had only few hours till dinner. In all my frustration I spilled that runny crap all over my kitchen floor. All I wanted was to sit in it and cry.

Somehow I collected myself. I looked into the oven and the first batch was rising up nicely. All that fuss for nothing.

I took the cream puffs out of the oven, but I wasn't quite happy. It was not a perfection (did I mentioned I have a bit of OCD?). These could do as seconds, but now I needed a main dessert.

I decided to make my Chocolate Roll with Vanilla Cream and Banana. I made the chocolate cake without a glitch (I made this dessert so many times ). While it was cooling I started on the vanilla cream. Of course, no more milk. Why should there be any milk? It's only me, sad little me racing against the clock.

Superhero called Husband stepped in and with the speed of light he presented me with one gallon of fresh milk. The day was saved, that's what I thought.

The race to the finish line is on. I cook the cream, cool it, put it into mixer and whip it with the butter....damn the cream is still too warm, melts the butter and the cream becomes a runny mess. Did I mentioned that I made this dessert like million times before? Who would have guessed.

I tried to save it. I put the cream into the freezer to thicken. Then I spread it on the cake and rolled it up. I picked up the roll and the cream was pouring out everywhere. The kitchen counter was covered.

It was time for another meltdown. The words: "I give up", I can't do anything right", "I am not going to the dinner" were laced with much stronger words that would make a logger blush.

I took 10 minutes time out and being the stubborn mule I am I wasn't giving up yet.

Plan D was put into action. I unrolled the cake, scraped the ugly cream and made my No-fail Walnut Buttercream filling.I wrapped it all up, covered it with chocolate and Voila I was done.

I was still upset and feeling sorry for myself. I just put it on back burner till I dealt with my dessert crisis (I promised a cake and cake they shall eat).

At this point my husband took the boys to play hockey and I had 40 minutes to clean up the mess and get ready.

Guess what, I didn't clean up. I grabbed my iPod turned it on and as luck would have it the song was I WILL SURVIVE. I cranked that baby up, I went on my porch and I started dancing and singing (screaming is better word) like never before.If my neighbours saw me I'm thankful that they didn't call 911. After the song was done I played again and louder, at this point I was smiling.The next song on my iPod was "So What" by Pink so of course I had to do that one to.

I'm happy to report that I had a wonderful dinner with my family and friends. My kitchen is still little messy (so out of character for me)and it is 1:35am time to hit the sheets.

Thank Goodness It's Friday

Another Friday is here. The weather outside is getting chilly and fall is in the air.

As I already mentioned my laptop crushed few days ago. I have to use my husband's laptop. Last few days I was so frustrated with it. It was slower then molasses. I kept telling my hubby there is something wrong with it, but you now men. He wasn't the one getting old while waiting for pages to change. Finally, tonight he listened and Hallelujah he fixed it and I don't have to watch my hair turning grey while waiting every time I click.



Anyway, enough about that. I decided to take my kids to the Pumpkin Patch by our house this afternoon to pick some pumpkins. We wanted to decorate our front porch and make it nice and festive. Because our house is not finished yet, we don't have to sit here all depressed.


Trevor and Sam Looking For the Perfect Pumpkin

My boys are 7 and 12 and this is the first time I took them to a pumpkin patch. I can't believe that. The little one went with his class last year. In the past we used to get our pumpkins at the store last minute.

I couldn't believe that we picked full wheel-barrel of pumpkins for only $8.00. What a deal. The best and the most important part was the fun I had with my boys. Running around the big field, laughing and trying to find the perfect pumpkin. It was cold, the wind was hauling and I didn't care a bit.




When we came home they couldn't wait to help me unload the trunk and start the display (who are these kids, did I pick up somebody else's children at the patch?).

The moral of this story is - I had a wonderful and bonding afternoon with my kids, we made our house more inviting and it all cost only $8.00. Not to shabby, eh (thought I'll put a little Canadian flair there)?

Our Decorated Front Door

I started this challenge 1 week ago and I must say it's not easy.

7 days is not long enough to change your life, but it is enough to change your attitude. I had few bad moments I admit. I was feeling sorry for myself, angry at the world and even questioning my faith. In the end my positive attitude won.

I had the most productive and happiest week in a long time. My mom actually commented on it just today. I was happy and I didn't have to go shopping, eating out or doing things that " I though" made me happy in the past.

I lived, loved and laughed....

Now it's time to find out how I did.

1. Weight Loss - lost 2lbs - awesome
2. Financial - made over $150.00 (eBay , baking) - submitted articles (waiting for approval)
3. Spiritual - praying and believing more then I ever did
4. Family - more hugging, laughing and forgiving
5. Me Time - I got a manicure today - felt great

So that was Week 1 of my personal challenge from Misery to Happiness in 365 days. Not bad, not bad at all.

Watch out world , here I come.

Changing Your Priorities Sometimes Is A Good Thing

Today I took my 12 year old for his regular check up with his diabetes team (pediatrician, nurse and nutritionist).

For last two months he's been slacking off, forgetting his insulin here and there and other stuff. It's not because he is resenting diabetes (been there done that and we'll go there again). It's because he's is a slacker with typical attitude of 12year old boy. He knows everything and I don't understand anything because apparently I was born a mother.

His favorite T-shirt to wear is the one with the sign: "Slackers Unite, Maybe Tomorrow".That's my boy. Despite everything I love to hang with him. These little trips to the clinic are our little dates.

So today, I was hoping his team will give him a hard time for not doing everything he's suppose to (his nurse is a very lovable hard ass and I can count on here to be the bad cop - always).

Well, by some miracle the little bugger managed to get his A1C (average blood glucose)lower then last time and he was in his target range. So he got praised for a great job and I got smirk. Yes, a smirk. I took him for lunch anyway.

In the past we used to go shopping after his diabetes clinic. Since as you know our cash flow is very limited to non existent right now we went grocery shopping. Boy, what an excitement.

Walking down the aisles and looking for ways to stretch our food dollars I kept thinking how my priorities changed last 12 months. I realized sometimes it's a good thing.

In my head I compiled this little top 5 list of must Have's from year ago and from right now.

Here it goes.

Top 5 Must Have's 12 Months Ago

1. Blackberry - for me
2. New pair of UGGs in different color - for me
3. Spa Weekend - for me & my hubby
4. 50" LCD Flat Screen - for the family
5. Shopping Trip to Vegas - for the family
   

Top 5 Must Have's Now

1. New Mattresses - for my boys
2. New Pillows - for the family
3. New Broom
4. Stainless Steel Garbage Can - for my kitchen
5. Hockey Fees - for my youngest

When I look at the first one I am almost ashamed. Who was I? Could I be even more materialistic? This is a true eye opener for me.

In my defence I always spread my wealth. I truly love to share whatever I have with people around me even strangers (apparently I am giving to a fault).

This last 12 months of Misery is almost like I have been given a second chance to do it right.

Honestly, I get it, but why the heck it has to be so freaking hard. I 'll tell you thou, I started this challenge week ago and it has been the happiest week in a long, long time.

I just need to put my feet up, grab a margarita and wait till my wave comes. Then catch it and ride it like I never rode before.

When Life Hands You Lemons Make Good Damn Lemonade

As I was standing in the shower today I was contemplating my life.


I came to a conclusion.


If I let the things going on in my life right now make me miserable and depressed I will not only letting myself down, but my whole family. I love them too much to let that happen.

If it was up to life I would be sitting on a couch in slippers and dirty robe. My hair would be mess and I possible might have a bottle of something hard in my hand. Not a pretty picture, you must agree.






So I am standing up looking life straight in the eyes with a smirk on my face saying: "come on, bring it...bring it all. I can take it, because I am a woman and most of all I am a MOM".

It is important for me to find humor and silver lining.

It seems like everyday a new blow, but at least I get to blog about it, right?

For example today:

I found out that my former best friend who owes me lots of money for bailing her out by paying her rent and grocery bills just returned from a week in All Inclusive Resort in Mexico where she spent 7 fun-filled days with her son. She wasn't worried about repaying money she owes while suntanning and sipping exotic drinks. She made sure we are no longer friends knowing that I will never ask for it back.

Stuff like that really bugs me, but I am making a progress. I am no longer angry at her. I graduated to forgiving her and being thankful to her for teaching me few life lessons.

I am a strong believer in paying it forward and that universe has a funny way of correcting itself. In other words: "Karma is a bitch, so watch out".

Right now life decided for whatever reason to keep handing me lemons so I will make sure that I will make a good damn lemonade.

P.S As I was posting this my 6 months old Sony laptop completely crushed and as of right now it is on it's way to Sony for repairs.

This Positive Thing Is Harder Then It Looks

Today wasn't as productive as I hoped for.

I spent the day taking care of my best friend's baby girl who's 20 months old.
I call her "Seek & Destroy". She is the cutest little girl with the biggest attitude. I love spending time with her, but by the time it's time to go home I am exhausted.

My youngest child is 7 and I have bit of OCD when it comes to my house. It's not baby-proofed at all and I like everything in it's place (in the past I used to have a cleaning lady and I had to let her go because I couldn't handle her not putting things exactly on their spot after dusting the shelves, yes I know I have a problem).

So today I spent the day picking up Lego, books and toys while repeating over and over: "don't touch that - put that down - no - no- no - come here - don't go there - I know you can hear me - stop ignoring me and I can see you,you know?"

I had fun thou. I love when she comes over. We can play, go crazy. I can spoil her and then give her back. Best part of being an aunt. I figure if you get to be an aunt you should be the fun aunt.

In the afternoon I had an opportunity to test my newly found positive thinking.

My hubby collects an unemployment insurance since he's not working right now (yes, he's still home and still waiting). Last Friday he was suppose to receive his EI check. Check that was suppose to cover the bills that come directly out of our account today. Well, no check on Friday. Today still no check. He went to the post office and they informed him that the address wasn't complete so the new girl that delivers our mail (we have a rural box)decided to return the government check back to the government. This would be the same girl that two weeks ago put somebody else government check into our mailbox.

The checks with that exact address have been coming to our box for almost a year now, they are addressed to my husband whose name is also listed on the box, we have been using the same box for 14 years and most of the people know us. So tell me what, the fudge is wrong with her? The office clerk didn't have answers for these questions either.

My bills came out, we went overdraft so dear mom I need your help again ( I think secretly my mom is taking pleasure with all this bailing me out since it is for the first time in her life).

Back to the postal worker in question. We can safely assume that she is not a rocket scientist.The old me would go over there chew her up and spit her out. Not the new me. I took a deep breath (swore very quietly), let my mom bail me out and went on with my life. Seriously, will we ever catch a break? I am ready.

And since mom was paying I decided not to cook today and order pizza...good for me (we didn't order pizza since July).

FYI I didn't enjoy the pizza, it was gross.